Wandering Again...

[Lexi]

The male stopped, and looked to his mother at her words, backing off more when Vasco got out from underneath him. He snarled, showing his teeth and shook his head. "I could win if I really tried, you didn't have a chance." Lilly came forward and growled at the young male, snapping lightly at his muzzle. "What the hell was that for?" she demanded staring him down. The male lowered his head in shame almost. "I thought I taught you better than that, Reagan." She crept closer to Vasco, looking his wounds over, that only thing running through her head was what a way for father and son to meet. And still she wanted to deny that this was her son's father.

[mystic;]

Vasco::

I stepped back and examined my wounds. They weren't so horrible, but time would heal them. The young male snapped some words and I looked at him in disbelief. He really though that? "Bien, bien. Qué un cachorro..." I muttered with a thick Spanish accent. Only when I spoke the language was the accent so noticeable. I shook my head and looked back at my bloodied shoulder until Lilly began lecturing the male. "He's yours?" I asked looking at one then the other. I could believe it, however. They were both a little violent. I sat down and sighed, wanting everything to just be explained. Then I looked the male over again. He was probably around a year old. And he did look like Lilly. I stood up again, things starting to come together. I stepped back and stared at the male in shock, disbelief. "He's....not..." I shook my head and looked to Lilly for an explanation.

[Lexi]

Lilly glared at the young male, shaking her head. "Yes he's mine. And evidently, not learned anything from my teaching." She sat down and kept a close eyes on her son. "To bad he didn't have a father around growing up to teach him things like these." She shot a look at Vasco and the Reagan opened his mouth again. "I have learned. And I don't need a father around to teach me anything." He looked to Vasco too with a little glint of evil in his eyes. Lilly looked over to Vasco with a tilt to her head. "Can't you see the reseamblence in your son?"

[mystic;]

Vasco::

Lilly and Reagan shot me meaningful looks and I knew it was true. Reagan looked at me with pure hate in his eyes, and I didn't blame him. I hurt his mom, and left him without a dad. Lilly spoke again and I felt sick. Until now, I figured I had no children. I had done my best to put those thoughts as far from my memory as was possible. I looked at Reagan and took a slow, shaky breath. I could see it, when I looked in his eyes. There was a little bit of me in him. I tried to put everything together where it made sense, which wasn't hard, but believing it...that was hard. Wanting to, that was harder. I shook my head and then looked at Lilly. "I'm so sorry." I couldn't say anything else. She had to raise this pup herself, explain why he was different than the other pups, why he had no father, she had to teach him everything I should have. I looked back at Reagan and wised I could take it all back, meet Lilly as a regular, good guy. Not a forcer. It could have been love.

[Lexi]

Lilly sat down calmly, watching Vasco, eye to eye. Her head was tilted in the slightest manner and she was thinking hard on this. Sorry. He'd said. He apoligized for his actions, but Lilly wondered if he really ment it. Had he really changes his ways and was he really actually sorry for forcing her and leaving her to care for their son, a son he didn't even know about. Sighing, she decided she'd find out somehow, find out if he was really loving and caring and not the same wolf as before.

Reagan, however, had other plans. This wolf's 'sorry' didn't cut it for him. His upper lip curled back to reveal his teeth and he let out a low growl, staring at Vasco and never breaking his gaze. "Sorry?" he questioned, not looking at his mother at all. "Sorry is all you have to say? You ruined her life, hurt and tortured her, then left her alone as if nothing happened. You just threw her away like it was her who was wrong. You did all this, made her raise me alone, leave me with no one to call dad, and all you have to say is sorry?" Reagan's blood was boiling now and he was just waiting to sink his claws into his so called father, the wolf he never wanted to come in contact with, never wanted to meet, was right here, waiting for him to kill.

[mystic;]

Vasco::

Lilly stared eye to eye and I felt sorry for her. But Reagan, he was worried about killing me. I was sure he also worried about his mom, but he was here for revenge, purely. I listened to what he said and nodded. "Yeah Reagan. You've got it all right. I don't deserve your forgiveness, or hers, but look at it this way. You wouldn't even be here, living breathing, if I hadn't met your mom. Think about that. And guess what? I'm here now. Yeah I left her, but you think this is chance? I could have been halfway to Mexico by now, but here I am, looking at probably, my only son. And there's no way around that. I'm your father." I sighed, looking away after my rant. I shouldn't have gone off like that but all he wanted to do was blame. If I hadn't done what I did, he wouldn't even be here, and his mom wouldn't have him in her life. And Lilly honestly loved Reagan, I could see that.

[Lexi]

Lilly looked to her son wishing he'd just stop this. She knew he just wanted someone to blame, and Vasco was a perfect target for that. "Reagan, please, just stop this. " she almost begged glancing at Vasco.

Reagan just looked at his father and shook his head. "Maybe I'd rather not be here, if I have to have you as a father. I'd rather not been born, and wish you hadn't met my mother, hadn't put her through all this. You don't deserve me or her, and she sure as hell deserves better than you." He sent a smug look to his father and just started trotting away. "But there, have her if that's want you want. I'm not sticking around, and my mom sure know where to find me when she needs help getting away from you again."

[mystic;]

Vasco::

When Reagan started leaving, I didn't know if that was a good thing or just something else to make Lilly hate me. She had the right. And Reagan had been right. They didn't deserve me...but maybe they deserved my protection. I sat and thought about it, watching Reagan leave. Maybe if they learned to trust me, then maybe they would finally realize I'm not that wolf anymore. I could be like... a bodyguard. Surely they needed someone to watch out for them. Reagan was doing a pretty good job but he was young. What if he came against someone like the late and legendary Lupercus. He wasn't around, yeah, but his son was. It was a dangerous world, and Reagan, although very strong, needed just as much protection as Lilly.

I then wondered if they would even listen. That son of mine wouldn't, that was clear. Lilly might. I looked at her again, and the look of pain, the wanting to be done with this, it hurt me to see it. I am a very passionate wolf. When I hate, it's viscious. When I love, it's deep. But I cared about Lilly, not out of regret although I did regret forcing her, but just because I knew her now, I knew how badly I'd messed up her life, and I knew she needed someone to listen. Reagan obviously loved her very much, but he was blinded by his anger. When he was out of sight, I stood and walked closer to Lilly. "Do you believe me yet?" I asked quietly, trying to smile nice enough that she wouldn't attack me again, but maybe smile back.

[Lexi]

Lilly stared wide eyed in disbelief as her son walked out. Tears formed in her eyes, and even as she tried to hold them back they spilled down her cheek. She took a deep shaky breath, watching as the figure of her son dissapeared out of sight. She couldn't believe it. All the time she spent with Reagan, she raised him right. He was a good young wolf, and yet meeting his father just sent him out of it. She knew it wasn't really his fault, he couldn't help himself and he'd come around one day. Lilly snapped out of her daze when she heard Vasco's voice behind her. Shaking his her, she leaned into him, letting her warm wet tears soak the fur covering his chest and she sobbed. "I don't know if I believe you. I don't know what to believe anymore. Nothing's right." She sighed deeply, just leaning against him for support. Support she didn't even know she needed.

[mystic;]

Vasco::

When I approached Lilly, I expected her to either turn and walk away some, or to lash out at me, words or otherwise. So it was quite a shock when she leaned into, tears soaking my sandy colored fur. At first, I did nothing but sit with eyes wide. Then I looked down at her and slowly moved so that my head created somewhat of a shelter, resting on hers lightly. "It's going to be okay..." I whispered. Of course she'd be upset. She didn't know whether to hate me or believe me, and now her own son was wandering somewhere doing who knows what.

For the moment, I forgot about my bodyguard idea. I just tried my best to comfort Lilly. Despite our twisted past, I feared I was starting to care too much for her, and maybe it was more than I had thought.

[Lexi]

When she felt Vasco move closer and lower his head over hers, she completely broke down. Leaning her whole body against him, it was like the whole world just melted away except her and him at that very moment. She forgot the past and what had gone on between them, and accepted the comfort he was providing. This comfort she could have used so many times in the past year, she just let it all out. So many times she just wanted to break down and cry, but she'd stayed strong for her son. But he was gone now, and all her tears washed the dirt and grime from her face, soaking into this male's fur. A male, she'd hated for so long, but now her gaurd was slipping. She lost all hate, and let something else take over her body. "Thank you." she whispered, not even sure what she was saying. "Thank you for being here, right now."

[mystic;]

Vasco::

Lilly was full of surprises. As I bent over her, she lost that careful control she had been keeping. I could feel her tears soaking my fur, the heaves in her chest that came with the soft sobbing. She cried into me, and I felt so sorry for her. I was getting attached, and on some level I knew that, but I didn't care; not now. All I wanted to do was make her feel better. It still shocked him that she was letting her guard down to the same male that had taken advantage of that last time. She must know that, but then maybe this meant she was starting to trust him. The idea warmed him inside, though he didn't know why.

The thought that Lilly might want him to stick around made him happy, but then worried she might leave. He expected her to leave of course... Why would she stay here with him, when she'd come to kill him. That memory sent a chill down his spine. He'd hurt her bad enough to make her want him dead. He'd hurt Lilly. Her words came to him, and though it was a little hard to hear her because his head was above her, and because she was crying, but they echoed. Thank you. Thank you for being here right now. "Your welcome, Lilly..." Lilly.

[Lexi]

Lilly relaxed against him for a few long moments. She tried taking deep ever breaths, but hearing his voice against shook something inside her. She pulled away, and gazed at him, looking into his eyes, and her own widened in fear almost. It was like she was right there a year ago staring into his eye before he forced her. A chill went through her and she turned around unable to look at his face. "I..." she stumbled over the words, hating herself for giving in and leaning on him for comfort. "I should really go." she just managed out of her mouth. With that she jumped and ran off over the hill, having no where to go she searched for a place to stay. The closed above got just a shade darker and she knew it would rain before nightfall. The best she could manage was a leaf pile under a rotting oak tree.

[mystic;]

Vasco::

Lilly relaxing against me was weird, but nice in a way. I felt her breathing slow and quicken as she tried to take even, regular breaths. Suddenly she tensed. I moved my head off of her to see what was wrong. Her eyes were wide as she searched my own and I felt sick. No, she was going to leave now. Her words pierced me and I felt more guilty for my past than I had before. Her words stayed with me as she jumped away and disappeared. "Lilly!" I stood and took a step toward where she ran, and debated whether or not to follow. What could I do? She was hating me, I was sure of it. She was afraid of me, afraid that I could do what I did back then. I knew I couldn't. I couldn't hurt her again. Ever. And anyway, that wasn't me. But how could she be sure of that? For all she knew I was tricking her again. My battered paws burned again, as if having her here had numbed the pain. It was back full force now, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Lilly was out of my range of sight now. Would she ever come back? This was such a chance meeting, how could it ever happen again? I doubted I'd ever meet her again, and so I decided to find her, or at least keep an eye on her so she didn't get herself into trouble. I walked in the direction I'd seen her go and followed her scent. When I got close enough to see her, I ducked into some bushes, laid down, and watched her. I was pretty sure it would rain and I felt sorry that she'd be in it. I didn't care if I was, really. I didn't mind.

[Lexi]

As the raindrops started to fall, Lilly nuzzled herself deeper into the dirt, curling tighter into a ball, trying to make herself as small as possible. She hated herself right now, for just letting her gaurd down. She couldn't call it 'falling for him', but she let him in, leaned on him and it made her sick inside. How could she do that to the one person, she hated some much. The one that hurt her in ways she couldn't explain. But she wanted him, wanted to trust him, and let him be the father that Reagan so despretely needed. It would never happen though, this would never work cause she knew it she let him in, she only be hurt even worse this time. He was a tricky wolf and those things you couldn't change. She sighed as the rain picked up and soaked her muzzle, but she didn't move. Unaware of his preseance nearby, the wind was surely blowing her sweet scent right into his face.