I'm Rediscovering You

[mystic;]

Candice, her beautiful white coat and stunning blue eyes, her sweet voice and aging body, she stepped closer to the land. She had been gone for so long and she knew her mate, Quigley, would be looking for her. He would be worried, maybe mad. He seemed to get harder when he was worried. She sighed and took the step that would bring her home. She hadn't done much, she had visited Delilah who had also been evading her mate Kenyan, but mostly she had done some thinking. Life was getting tough, and she was getting older. She wasn't close to death yet, just weaker and more dependent on her mate. Why she had left him knowing this, she didn't know. But she had learned a few things about herself on her trip. The most surprising, she learned she couldn't live without Quig. His scent was everywhere and it was dizzying. She knew she'd been gone a long time, but she didn't know it would be this big a shock to be back. Immediately she knew she wanted to see him, to touch him and to know he still loved her. It hadn't been more than a week, but it was long enough to probably scare him and make her miss him with every fiber of her being. She inhaled deeply, exhaled with a shuddering breath, and tipped her head back to let out a howl. When she finished she whispered under her breath. "I'm home, Quigley..." Candice knew he'd ask where she'd been, but hopefully he understood she had never been one to settle and this had been so different than her past lifestyle that she had to find herself somewhere. Now she knew it was here, she belonged with him.

[Lexi]

Quigley lay in the back of one of the caves, curled in a tight ball, keeping in the darkness and away from the weather. The sun was out and shining but his life was dark and dim without his love. It seemed like she'd been gone forever and would never return. He knew it only must have been not even a week but it broke his heart that she would just run off like that after all these years. He feared the worse and it sickened him to the very core that something may have happened to his beautiful Candice. He sighed and shoved his nose into the dust. Years ago he and his mate had taken this land over when their good friends and previous alphas had passed on. And now Quigs had gotten older, the gray on his muzzle and paws, told the tale of long years. He was about to close his eyes and drift off again like he'd been doing for the last few days when a sound rang through the cave from outside. It made his whole body tingle, and the hairs on his back stand straight up. He jumped to his feet as fast as an aged and well fed wolf could and grinned. Forcing his feet to move he took off at a full run howling to the wind as he went. As soon as that beautiful white figure was in his view, he lept for her, landing on her back and pinning her to the ground as he did all those years before. He did so the day he first forced her and everytime she came to see him after that. She brought a spark to his eyes and a youth to his old muscles. Gazing down on her, his paws holding her down, he grinned into her blue eyes and licked her nose ever so softly. "I missed you so much." he murmered, playfully nibbling at her ear. He didn't care where she was or who she was with. She was here and alive and well. . . . and his.

[mystic;]

It seemed like he came out of nowhere. Candice heard the howls and figured he'd be there any moment. But suddenly she heard the thumps of his paws on the ground near her and then he was there. Despite his being much older now, he still pounced on her like a pup. She was on the ground and he was smiling. "I missed you too, Quig. So much..." Candice sighed and closed her eyes, just burying her face in his thick black fur. "I'm so sorry, Quigley. I shouldn't have left. I should have told you...I just disappeared..." She felt a tear fall from her eye and sink into his fur. She was so happy to see him, yet so guilty for leaving. She hadn't done anything she regretted, just leaving in the first place.

The air seemed warmer with Quigley here. She suddenly felt warmer inside and out. His eyes sparkled with his love for her and hers did the same. They were both older but in this moment they were like puppies again. She wished she could be happier for him. To "not care" like he didn't seem to now. She wanted to run with him and play and smile. But all she could do was cry softly against him. She had never missed anyone like she missed him. She missed Delilah all the time, but she knew she was happy and with Kenyan. She had also known that Quigley was all alone.

[Lexi]

Quigly stood up a little, lifting his weight off her and to look into her eyes. His her tilted the slightest and he looked curiously at her. "It's ok." he said softly, licking the tears from her eyes. "You're here now, and safe with me and that's all that matters." A soft smile crossed his muzzle as he looked her over studying her. She was unharmed and well and only seemed to be more beautiful with age. He could help but just stand there and watch her, looking for anything limp or searching for scratches, wanting her to be perfect, making sure nothing had happened on her venture. "You just don't know how lonely it's been with you away." he said nuzzling her and letting his black coat clash against her clean white fur. "But that's all better now." He licked her nose and nudged her lifghtly. It was just amazing how his look on life could change. It was dim and dark and now with her here, he knew the sun was shining and could hear the chirp of birds. Life was so much better. "I'm just so happy you're ok."

[mystic;]

Candice had always been a bit emotional. But seeing Quig had made it a bit overboard. She inhaled deeply and nodded. "Then...we're okay?" she asked softly, letting him nuzzle her. It felt so good to be here, with him. Home. Her eyes were still sad, but she felt better knowing he wasn't mad. He was just...happy. It was nice, but she couldn't help but wonder if he was curious. After all, they had met through...interesting...circumstances. Wouldn't he think she was still that kind of wolf? Instead of letting her mind wander on those things, she focused on the joy of being with him here and now. He was perfect, their life was perfect...why had she gone? Why would she leave this? That didn't matter now, it was time to settle back into the perfect life they had created.

[Lexi]

Quigley nodded. "Of course we're ok. I couldn't be better." he said scooting closer to her. He jsut couldn't get enough of her, couldn't get close enough. But deep in the back of his mind he was mad at her. Mad of her for just up and leaving without even telling him. Mad that she was gone so long without even checking in. And even mad that rolled right but in here with a 'sorry, I missed you.' He loved her yes, but wouldn't let her get away with this again. He'd track her down and make sure she stayed here where she belonged. Shaking his head at the thoughts in his mind he could decide if that was what she deserved or if his brain was going back to the devious forcer her once was. He stepped back from Candice a little keeping his gaze from her and took a deep breath, trying to tell if there was the scent of other wolves on her . . . other males to be precise. "Where were you anyway?" he asked with a serious look. He was so glad she was home, but why had she gone in the first place. Surely she'd gotten bored of him for awhile and went off in search of a new 'friend.'

[mystic;]

Candice smiled and nuzzled him as he got closer. But then he moved away, just a little and took a look at her. She could tell he was smelling her. Probably worried about other males. Did he not trust her? Well why should he? She left, without any notice at all. He had a right to his fear. Then he asked. She knew it would happen eventually. She was surprised it took this long. Candice looked down for a short moment as she remembered the night she snuck away....

Candice watched the moon rise and her thoughts immersed her into a silent curiosity. Quig was asleep, and had been for maybe an hour or so. She hadn't been able to sleep. She just stared at the sky. Her eyes had drifted shut a few times, but every time she got close to sleep, she was jerked awake with another thought. Mostly worrying about Delilah and then wondering what life would have been like if she never met Quigley. She sighed and laid down, head on her paws. Not two hours later she woke, realizing she had drifted off. Next thing she knew she was running. She had crossed the borders in minutes. Candice didn't know why she ran, she just knew it had had to do with that dream.

Candice opened her eyes and closed out the memory. "I don't really know why I left, but believe me when I tell you I didn't do anything. Not what you're thinking anyway. I visited Delilah, and mostly just wandered aimlessly." She remembered talking to Delilah and realizing her daughter, too, was avoiding her mate. But not for the same reasons. Candice was the first to know about her daughter's news, and probably the only one right now. She would have told her daughter to go back to her mate and tell him, spend her time with him instead of worrying, but what kind of hypocrisy would that be?

[Lexi]

Quigley sighed, staring intently at her. He wasn't sure if he should believe her or not. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. They'd been happy for years and one night she just up and ran off, and for no apparent reason. It wouldn't take almost a week to just go visit Delilah and she didn't even tell him? He turned his back on Candice and walked off a few steps. There was this feeling in the pit of his stomach now as he turned his mind on himself. What in the world di dhe do wrong to make her run off like that. How bad could he have been to her all these years for her to slip off in the night like that. Certainly there was something wrong between them. Maybe their bond had broken through the years, or maybe Candice was craving more of a life. A life with a younger male, better land and pups running around her feet. He hung his head and turned his amber eyes back at her. "I'll be back at the dens when you're ready to come home." he said softly and then ambled off. He returned to the cave and curled up into the little hole he'd been lying in for the past week since Candice had left.

[mystic;]

Candice watched, heart broken, as his face grew darker. The questions in his eyes... How had she been so stupid? Why had she run from the perfect life? He turned away from her and her heart sank. Was he leaving her now? I'll be back at the dens when you're ready to come home. Her ears pinned against her soft white head and her sad smile faded. When he was far enough away, she whispered her sad words. "I am home..." She had really made a mess of things. They would have a lot to work on, and she would have to earn his trust back. She deserved a hard road, but he only deserved her love. He deserved good things, and she had just ruined it all. She closed her eyes and followed quietly, head low in shame. What have I done?

[Lexi]

Quigley laied in the little worn out hole in the back of her cave. It was just his size seeing as his body had worn it out. It was cozy and was home to him now. What used to be Candice's warm fur surrounding him was not dusty earth, cradling his whole body. He buried his nose under his paws, multiple tears dripping from his eyes. He tried to keep them from sight but knew as soon as Candice entered the cave, she'd see the glistening specks on his face. He was so torn inside, blaming this whole thing on him. He just wasn't good enough for her and he knew he had to set her free since that's what she wanted. At least that's how it was in his mind. He didn't deserve her, and she deserved so much more. He sighed, covering a sniffle and shoved his nose deeped into the dirt. Closing his eyes, he tried to find what was so horrible inside him, his body shaking with the tears. If only he knew all she wanted was him and his love.

[mystic;]

Candice entered the cave, eyes still closed in sadness. But it was dark in here, and she needed to see. When she opened her eyes, she just wanted to close them again and close out the picture of Quigley in pain. Her first instinct was to go to him and ask him what was wrong. But she knew what was wrong. She was wrong. She walked over to him and sat a foot away. "Quigley, I'm so sorry..." she whispered. Her eyes closed again and she let a tear escape. Candice wished more than anything that things could just go back to how they were before she ran. She tore herself down inside, knowing this was all her fault, knowing that not only did she ruin her own life, but she'd ruined Quig's. And Quigley was everything.

She laid down, her head now reaching him easily, and cleaned his face. Hopefully she wasn't out of line and he wouldn't make her leave. He was alpha after all, and she didn't know where she stood anymore. Was it over? It couldn't be over. "This is all my fault...I shouldn't have gone...shouldn't have laid outside the cave that night..." she muttered quietly, forgetting that Quigley lay close enough to hear. She sighed, closed her eyes, and laid her head on her paws.

[Lexi]

Quigley didn't open his eyes when Candice came closer, cleaning his face. He relaxed though, so happy to have her near him, but he still felt wrong. Sighing he shook his head. "You have no right to be sorry, it's not your fault. This is all on me." He opened his eyes and let them gaze over her beautiful face. "I'm just not strong enough anymore, I'm not good enough for you and you deserve so much more than I can give." He lowered his head again in defeat and held back the tears for now. "You left for a reason, you had to. If that reason is me, than so be it. Go ahead and leave if you want, find a better life for yourself. A life you want to leave and someone to take care of you." He rolled over, his back to her and wiped the tears away with his paw. Her last comment made his eyes prick up though. Looking back at her, his eyes were filled with confusion and curiousity. "What?"

[mystic;]

Candice shook her head as he spoke and closed her eyes tightly, tears streaming softly down her white cheeks. "No," she whispered softly, "I can't leave you...I won't. Not unless you make me." She opened her eyes, but the tears made her vision blurry. She could, however, see him look up at her. What? She blinked the tears away to focus on his face, his voice. "I..." She twisted her head to the side to stare curiously. What had she said to make him look at her like that. He didn't understand something. He must not have known something and she slipped. But what?

[Lexi]

Quigs sat up and scooted closer to her a new happiness in him, though he didn't let it show just yet. "You what?" he pressed wondering what she'd ment. "You don't want to leave me? You want to stay?" His head leaned to the side and his eyes were almost foggy. "But what made you leave so suddenly?" He paused and just looked over the face he was so familiar with. He had so many questions deep inside, but knew he couldn't just bombard her with all of them at once. She'd talk in her own time.

[mystic;]

Candice nodded. "Of course, Quigly. I love you. What...you didn't think it was..you?" Her understanding began to fill her eyes and she let another tear escape, a sad smile stealing away the tortured face from before. "Quigly, it was never you. You are what brought me back." She licked his face softly and nuzzled him. "I don't know why I left...some sense that I needed to think alone...I don't really know. But it was wrong. I shouldn't have left home. I belong here, with you, my love." How could he think this was somehow his fault? He was too perfect for her. "And I only long to stay, if you'll have me..." Could he even accept her back? She didn't deserve it. Maybe Delilah would let her stay if Quigly sent her away...surely Kenyan would go along with what Delilah asked? Unless he sided with Quig of course...and she wouldn't blame him.